venting it out

Venting out my anger and emotions begin now; (feel free to discontinue reading now if you please)

so,here goes.

oblivious.jealous.insecure.fickle-minded.indecisive.a settler.high expectations.not sure. emotional.over thinker.not patient. too sensitive. hard for keeps.too easily smitten. unpredictable, as in not even close to what you have in mind.acts on impulse at times. confused.tangled in the worst knots possible. just a bunch of mess.

so basically, the above paragraph is a brief (very) summary of the problem with me.seems like i'm not good when it comes to putting it in written words too,mashing together all the nouns with verbs and adjectives here n there.but truth be told, theres a whole lot more..but this is whats bothering me ryte at this very current moment. and i thank Allah, for the power of words, really allow me to breathe and keep calm.

now.continuing on the vent-it-out part, i am not an attention seeker,but i hate being ignored.seriously.that is one thing i hav not managed to learn yet. yes,this involves patience and i hav a lot to work on when it comes to this topic. i can be patient, but come at the wrong moment and i'll just blow off like a grenade.but being ignored, is another quite seperate thing. i dont think i demand a lot.but all i want is a bit sincerity please.and a tad more effort,can do a great deal of help.cuz when i feel like this i take it out on different things.yes,i'll do other things to occupy myself so that i wont keep thinking about it.the other things might involve lying to my own feelings, playing around, taking a drive (another thing i hate abt me is when i drive WITH emotions.bad vibes.bad badd vibes) or simply, ignoring back but in a more severe level.

and i tend to emo too much. like when a song plays and all the strings of memories flash back.and suddenly the emotions just start flooding that u can practically feel it trickling down ur very own heart, lingering in ur chest. i HATE how i find it so hard to not have this back. to not let go when physically, and mentally i have let it go.

to anyone who just read this, i do apologise if you've just wasted your precious time because the above writings just does not make any sense.just like me.sometimes.

phew.so thats the end of one very complicated venting session.a simple short nonsense..just the righ amount to let out. now,i feel better. i think.

note to self:one day you'll be looking back at this.and you'll laugh it all out.enjoy that moment.