faith is a strong word.it means having to believe, or putting your trust into something,with no reservations,no conditions, no proof,nor evidence needed.
faith is what pple reach for when there's nothing left.
faith is the ground you wish to step on when you are drifted away.
and faith is what one holds on to close.like their last breath,or like hanging on to dear life
God works in mysterious ways,and we fail to see that.faith IS a strong word,but FAITH in Allah keeps the blood coursing through my veins till i wake up. Faith in ALLAH is the only strength that keeps me going on day by day, no matter what happens.Faith, that He will protect me,that He will always be close to me,that He will choose the best for me, that the path i was destined to by Him is tread only for me.
Mostly,when we dont get what we WANT, we grumble,complain,ad stumble through.without even stopping to live in the second,and see the beauty of why things happen for a reason.
'Things Happen For a Reason' .
its so cliche,so tacky to some.but to me,these mere five words, make up a sentence that brings on a whole new perspective.
about 3 days back,during lunch with mama,she received a call.She was so absorbed,like with all her other calls,her eyes rounded, her mouth gasped.i wasnt at least feeling surprised as shes always full of expressions.i heard her mention 'accident' in between those gasps and sighs.So my curiosity led me to ask ' sape yang kene accident?staff mama?'
there was a slight pause.with gleaming eyes,ma looked straight at me and said,
'papa'
i swear i couldve dropd to my knees right at that second.but i cant.i have to appear strong.for mama,at least.
right after she said what i most did not expect to hear, there was a call on my phone from an unknown number.i picked up,the voice was familiar.
"adik,papa ni.have you heard the news?'
i was happy.speechless and barely breathing at the same instance.hearing papas voice made me sane again,for a wile.but i was still in a sort of tranz,bcuz all the thoughts,and flashes of possibilities ran into my head.i did not want to think about the worst case scenario.not close.but,humans plan,and God takes control.my strong front,didnt pull of successfully as i try wipe of the tears so ma wont see it.
we spent hours of agony waiting.although he called to say hes okay,there's this possibility,that my father hav not been telling the truth.for fear of us panicking.not letting us know,to keep us safe from worry.papa has always been like that,putting everythg else before him,especially when it comes to family.
a conformation call from my uncle toned down the worry a bit.a bit.i couldnt find serenity again,not without seeing papa again.
alhamdulillah,.alhamdulillah,syukur.at 11-ish,a white vios arrived,a few men came out,his staff i guess.then finally papa stood up,his arm slinged with a tie to his neck.i felt like hugging him,and holding on to him forever never to let go.this was the first time i was in AnE,for reasons of immediate family.alhamdulillah.not a visible scratch,and x-ray only oncovered slight muscle tension in his shoulders.obviously,there had to be some impact from the roaring momentum.and thank Allah,it was minored down to only the impact of the seat belt buckle to his right shoulder.alhamdulillah.
biiznillah,my father survived a motor-vehicle accident and managed to crawl through the little openings and cracks to go out of the car.the 4-wheel drive he drove rocketed 15feet up high to the slope and hit a tree trunk which broke into two.the car then tumbled down from the height,rolling on the slope and finally hit the concrete drain.our fortuner was an immediate wreck,and people who saw the condition of it told us that they cn barely imagine what were to happen to the driver,with the vehicle being dented and glass smashed.
i cant imagine what papa has gone through while he was conscious and awake throughout the whole crash.he said he saw our fortuner heading straight to the hills and could do nothing except express his faith: 'ash ha du alla ila ha ilallah,wa ash ha du anna muhammadarrasulullah.i bear witness that there is no god but Allah,and prophet Muhammad is his rasul(messenger)'
alhamdulillah,syukur ya Allah.i love my father,my role model,my motivator,my jester,..i just cant imagine...i cant even type it down.
note to self, i know i'm not good at expressing or saying things that i feel but i will definitely let all my special angels on earth know how much they mean to me.remind urself to put more 'i love yous' at the end of each call,more 'hellos' and 'how are you' from now on.
definitely,definitely more 'i love yous'.for as long as i live. insyaAllah.
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