i have been wanting to write this post for like,forever!bt time.time,time,time.always,time is not on good terms with me.moreover,since d start of new sem.
story: after sending case back,at the airport,d 3 of us went to foodgarden before each partg to their own seperate ways;me-shah alam,mummy n daddy-kelantn.we had food, and talk,but this time it wasnt the usual gibberish.it was something solid,real and frightening all at d same time; it was about my future.
truth is,they had everythg planned out.since d day i was born.no,even earlier;since the day i was conceived.whoops,no,too early~.anyways, my mother and father sacrificed a lot for their kids.the little chit chat we had that day,made me tear a bit. how careful,they had planned evrythg for me.backup for this n that.for possibilities i never thought of.money for me to study,money for work.money for a new car once i start working.and my father,he, grew up on the very little money from the hours his family and him spent working the paddy field.his first car was aftr he was married.a green,old peugot.i think.nonetheless, he never wanted me to go through anythg like that.he's considering a honda for kc.my parents, there are no words to describe their purity and love.
lately,i've been pondering.
my parents dont deserve a kid like me.troubled mess,rebellious and stubborn is my middle name.yes,indeed i am trying to chge.bt then, its not an overnight process.who knows how long it takes or how it'll turn out.
my only fear is,to let them down.to dissapoint them.to not live up to their dreams and expectations.all of which, i indubitably shall say,probably have happened.a few times.
i hope,and pray, that i will live,and grow,to my upmost full potential,to their hopes and dreams.
im not perfect.and never will be.but for improvement,theres room.
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